Hello my dear,
As I started this blog, I was full with joyful hopes. I have dreamed about sharing my artworks, I had hope to make a lot of pen friends … I was sure I will break the wall of silence and quit talking with myself…
Some of my hopes where achieved. Some of my pictures where put on a web and I have shared some of my thoughts on what for we are living there. Plus I know English better now than prior starting to blog. However, I became a failure ultimately. A list of my friends remains the dream. I have received no requests to purchase my artwork too. Maybe, that was no wonder: my blog was my diary, and my earnings should be your responses. The last too wasn’t achieved according to the stats.
Let me remind you a bit of my bio now. After my head accident I became jobless and without money. Though I remained alive but my fellows became the silent walls of my memoirs and that was my main message.
I have hoped I will succeeded to reflect just a bit of our passionate life, and to grasp the eternities. Unfortunately, no comments were my result. Where was my mistake?
When I started the blogging, I dreamed about finding the outcome from my dependence on the accidental grace from the unknown benefactors. Earning though a penny could help me enjoy the life. Unfortunately, I live In Lithuania and it is very hard to start anything there. I would like to put my works on PDF file. Unfortunately, even I would succeed in arranging such books, I would have no chance to share them except as a gift to my friends for a free and thus to earn nothimg ( just the huge expenses of the publishing that would be much higher than my disability pension – the sneering at the human dignity in Lithuania)
In case I will live in some other country, the situation may look otherwise, but I live in Lithuania and I love my history – thus I have just what I have – the memoirs and the right to grieve and to weep for my current helplessness – to complaint and to beg . That’s ugly. But I haven’t anything to address for the help to stand up.
I have arranged lots of my artwork exhibitions, but the Lithuanian specific makes them a joke : the artist are to pay themselves for they right to invite the people for to get Thank you (at best) in a result. The art is for a free in Lithuania.
I am sorry in case you think I am complaining – I just want to share a bit more light to you.
Blogging helps me forgot about my needlessness in this world and inspires the dreaming … But my dreams are of getting your financial remittance for I could share my thoughts and pictures for a free without hope to earn nothing tamgible, but the sense of human spiritual oneness.
These sad news are far from all my hardships. The main problems are my medicine, but the healing (the medicine) is also just for the healthy who can allow themselves such luxury here.
The sick and the disabled don’t belong to that category. At times it becomes even hard to trust we all have the same spirit.
It would be very fine in case though some of you have enjoyed my blog… It would be the best fruit of my hearty attempts to be sincere .
I don’t know either I could continue the blogging further. I must renew all my graphic programs (to pay for the internet and so on) That costs just the incredible cash to the disabled who haven’t enough just for simple living… I would be happy if though some thoughts on my blog would touched you and if some of you would use them in your own works – as your own. That would be the greatest gift to me and I never will judge you with any plagiarism but will hearty thank you for the proving my dreams wasn’t just my fantasies, but our reality that have became heard….
Sorry for the mood of this post, but my tears hardens to see what I am writing at a moment. I don’t achieved anything – my mailing box is empty. And it would be no wonder to get no response to that confession too. My life comes to the end, but you are to live. Be well my dear friends. And be much more successful as I was. I will recall you all with love and you enlighten my current dark sky. You gifted me so much. I expected to get some financial support, but t get much more. The begging may help purchase some tools for the work, but you gifted me the desire to say something nice and everlasting. That’s learning to pray , and that’s the main wealth. The blogging has made me the incredibly rich. Thank you.